"From feeling empty, to feeling like the whole world was one negative pit, to plenty of suicidal thoughts, hiding eating disorders, and anxiety that kept me from work for a month- it's been a ride to say the least.

 

For over 10 years, I was unhappy and believed that all of my negative thoughts about myself, my surroundings, and the world were true. My body was feeling it, too. I have struggled with Irritable Bowel Syndrome, but I stopped believing when people said 'that's normal' and 'you're too sensitive', along with 'nothing's wrong with you, you're young and healthy'.

 

Let me tell you that it was the best decision I have ever made. I took back the control, felt less like a victim to my moods and body, and decided to take it into my own hands. For me, it was the only option. I felt like things couldn’t get worse. I refused to feel that way for the rest of my life, both physically and mentally. So, what did I do?

 

I searched long and hard to find a counselor that I connected with and I worked on my mindset, which I still do through different avenues. I also received an education in nutrition and learned how our physical health is highly linked to our moods. At the time, I felt 'fine' and like I had no physical symptoms anymore. Boy, I learned a lot, fixed a lot, and finally felt like myself again.

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The dark clouds started to part and I felt a shift. The scary part, with knowing how closely diet and lifestyle are linked to our moods, I started to slack off. I fell off the wagon with working out and 'health-washed' my diet. 

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One day, I was sitting in my car feeling completely empty, physically and mentally. I had zero energy, zero drive, no thoughts, and I didn’t care about anything in that moment. I could have sat for hours just staring at one spot. I had flashbacks to my younger self- old memories popped up of my dad telling me that I was boring and no fun.

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That day was followed by a four day 'flu' with a fever and the feeling like I was freezing. There were headaches that had me so worried that I put a pack of frozen blueberries on my head- no, that’s not how antioxidants work. I was feeling so weak and slow that it took me ten times longer to just get to the washroom.

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My doctor and I figured out what caused it- an unknown food allergy. I had been eating that food since I was young, eliminated it for six months, and when I accidentally came in contact with it, boom, that was what I got.

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Now, I’m better than ever. I’m grateful that this is the past and that I feel like myself again. If you take anything away from my story- let it be hope. You don’t need to feel the way you do for the rest of your life. My story is more on the extreme side, as you don’t need to suffer from physical ailments in order to fix your body and mood connection. There are other options out there. There is help and it can get better. Heard that before? Well, it’s true!"