"I never thought that, at the age of 23, I would be sitting in a psychiatric unit, away from the rest of the 'normal' world. I never thought that, at the age of 16, I would be sexually assaulted, either.

 

So much of my life has been taken from me, so I was ready to take it away myself. The night that I attempted suicide was also the night of the beginning of my sobriety. I self-medicated and self-harmed myself, in order to hide what I was feeling.

 

The depression that I used to be able to hide for so long was beginning to take control over my life. I hurt the people that I cared about the most, I isolated myself, and I thought that it would be better if I was dead. I was so used to hiding everything that I got good at hiding from myself.

 

Luckily, my mother didn’t see me as this broken, sick individual like the rest of society saw me. She helped me get the help I needed. I voluntarily checked myself in for 6 days into a psychiatric unit, where I was able to receive the care I needed. I was then connected to intensive outpatient care where I found the support of others who were similar to me.

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I won’t apologize anymore for me being me because I know I am not broken. Asking for help isn’t as scary as losing your battle. It only makes you stronger. Even though every day has its own set of challenges and I am learning to love myself again, I am happy to be alive."