“I was a sophomore in high school the first time I wanted to stop existing. I say stop existing because I did not necessarily want to kill myself, I just didn’t really want to be here anymore.

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I can’t pinpoint a time or an event that led to my depression, which is why I believe it was brought on genetically. There were times that I felt like I couldn’t leave my bed and it sucked because people would think it was because I was lazy and not wanting to be social, but it was because I felt like I physically couldn’t. My depression made me emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted and I couldn’t control it.

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During this time, nothing in my life felt worth it for me. I never felt like I belonged anywhere in this world. I pushed myself into relationships that I never wanted or needed just because I felt better having a companion- I didn’t want to feel alone.

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I was never really sure if I would make it to high school graduation. I thought maybe my depression would win and I would never receive my diploma. Graduation was my finish line, and it was a real battle. I was hospitalized one night and I think it was the real wake up call to my parents that I needed help.

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I began attending therapy my senior year. I went through a few therapists until I found the right one for me. I started to feel so much better after seeing my therapist because she helped me in ways that my family and friends couldn’t. I felt like she understood what I was dealing with and what I was going through.

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I graduated high school and found the college of my dreams in a city that I fell in love with. Here I am 5 years later since being diagnosed with depression and every day I get a little bit better.

I’m not sure if I would be here today if I hadn’t sought help. And it’s a shame because I feel that there is absolutely a stigma surrounding mental health. People don’t want to talk about it, but it is crucial to get help.

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If you are struggling, please know you are so important. A favorite quote of mine says,‘We are not on this earth to see through one another, but to see one another through.’ That’s the best advice I can give, you are not alone in this war and there are people that want to help you defeat it.”